Do you want a better relationship?
Think about how it felt when you first got together with your partner. There was excitement. There was passion. There was a mutual sense of appreciation and love. Is your relationship still like that?
Over time, our romantic relationships can change. We become familiar with our partner and often take them for granted or vice versa. Although this type of relationship can be comfortable, we often feel that a spark is missing. We get bored. We stop giving our relationship the attention it needs to truly thrive. We neglect to give our partners the support and affection they’ve become accustomed to. Over time, if left unchecked, this can destroy a relationship.
You could let this pattern of stagnation continue, or you could choose to actively find ways to make your relationship better.
Start by addressing your expectations and learning how to make positive changes in a relationship. It all begins with the idea of expectations. When you met your partner, you didn’t expect much of them. You were thrilled to simply spend time with them and get to know them. You appreciated them for who they were – flaws and all. But over time, you needed more. You two took on more responsibilities together, you came to depend on them for more and you might have even placed unspoken expectations on them because you believe they should act, think or behave a certain way.
Suddenly, it’s as if the differences that once brought you together are now tearing your relationship apart, but it doesn’t need to be like this. Learn how to reevaluate your expectations and appreciate your partner with new eyes. Instead of getting frustrated with them for doing things differently than you, learn to feel a sense of gratitude that their different approach to the problem complements your own.
If you’re able to shift your mindset and approach your relationship from a place of love and appreciation instead of frustration, your relationship will continue to grow. However, if you’re unable to leave your negative mindset behind, you’ll continue existing in a state of discontent with your partner until the relationship eventually dies altogether.
When you feel anger or disappointment starting to build, take a step back and focus on changing your state. This could be through doing something as simple as taking a walk, drinking a sip of water or making a joke with your partner. This break from the moment will improve your emotional and physical state, causing you to diffuse the situation and re-enter with a mindset of gratitude and adoration.
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Tony Robbins is a #1 New York Times best-selling author, entrepreneur, and philanthropist. For more than 37 years, millions of people have enjoyed the warmth, humor and dynamic presentation of Mr. Robbins’ corporate and personal development events. As the nation’s #1 life and business strategist, he¹s called upon to consult and coach some of the world¹s finest athletes, entertainers, Fortune 500 CEOs, and even presidents of nations.